[Writing] Fears

Today I will start with the first part of my writing challenge. I graduated last week, so now I do have a lot of time for writing and taking pictures (except the fact that I have to work every day the next few weeks). I chose to write about the following topic:

Fears. what is your greatest fear? How do you deal with it?

People say that it is when we overcome our greatest fears that we will grow. I have overcome a lot of my fears, and I try my best to fight my fears every day. I remember one time when I was on Corsica with my class, and we were in the mountains and we were canyoning. I jumped down a 10m high rock, and did some other things that seemed impossible to others, but there was one moment, where I was really afraid and I felt paralyzed. I was supposed to lie down on my back, and glide down a natural slide that the water had caved into the rock, with my head first. I knew that it should be absolutely safe, after all the guides had tried this before. However I was so afraid that I thought that I could not do it. But I tried. I lie down on my bag and let my teacher push me down the slide. I would not say that it was the most comfortable experience, or that I liked the feeling of water all around me.However, the fact that I had overcome my fear, made me extremely happy. I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I think that if I would not have faced my fear of sliding head-first down a rock then, I would still be asking myself if I could have done it.
I think it is important to face your fears, or else they will be a weapon that can be held against you, even by yourself. I know the feeling of my fears paralyzing me. It can be a terrible feeling, as if something is trying to strangle you. But to face your fears, you have to know them. You have to know what they are, and what causes them. I would say that my greatest fear is to not be able to trust in my own sanity. If I cannot trust in myself, and my senses, what else can I trust in? This fear keeps on following me, and I find it hard to face. I thought a lot about what causes this fear. I think that it is a fear of being wrong, and generally fear of failure. The truth is that we cannot trust our senses 100%. We can be fooled, and there is no waterproof argument for our senses, or even all of our science to be correct. In the end everything around us could be an illusion. However, these thoughts do not actually get us anywhere. The belief in that nothing is real, is not very constructive and can be destructive. That is why we have to believe in a reality, and if that is the reality of our senses, or the reality of a God that has created this world, or something else, is up to yourself. But in the end we all have to face the fact that no matter how much we call ourselves atheists, we do still only believe. We cannot know because every fact we use to prove that our belief is real, is a result of a belief in our own sanity, senses or something else based within us. But it is my experience that does not help to worry to much about this. I accepted this fear of the unknowing, and by investigating what causes it, I found a way to let go of this fear. I think that this method will work on spiders as well.